Spanish Bombs Rock the Province

end of the world in two weeks

Posted in news by mrkd on 29 August 2008

The Large Hadron Collider is almost ready, and everyone’s pretty much sure that it won’t create a black hole that will consume the earth.

Posted in Uncategorized by mrkd on 15 August 2008

There’s a Creationism Museum just outside Cincinnati, because science is for suckers. Or the hellbound.

We call them pirates out here, Ned.

Posted in books by mrkd on 14 August 2008

One of the NPR book review guys just did a three-book summer reading bit on piracy; as I recall, two of the books were about like say Bluebeard and the golden age of pirates with parrots and muskets and cannon and so on, and the other — Dangerous Waters by John Burnett — was about modern piracy in the Malacca Strait off of Singapore. Ah, I thought, that’s the one. I probably associated the guy’s synopsis with the Ping Island Lightning Strike Rescue Op, which of course is completely insane.

The book, and modern piracy (insinuates Burnett), is about oil. The ship Burnett travels aboard is the Montrose. The Montrose is part of a class of ship with the completely logical and very silly name Very Large Crude Carrier, or VLCC, which carries an absurd amount of crude from Dubai to Singapore. The Group (nameless, faceless oil giant) owns a fleet of Very Large Carriers. To save money — and all the company wants to do, it seems, is save money — ships are manned by the absolute minimum crew required to safely pilot hundreds of millions of gallons of crude (don’t sleep! don’t spill!) through the most pirate-infested waters on earth, so they drive around with all their lights on and shoot firehoses off the side to discourage people from climbing aboard. And it’s not like modern pirates are trying to steal the cargo — what are they going to do with crude? They steal the crew’s wallets. Couple that with the fact that these ships spend a lot of time in international waters, where there is effectively no law, and the fact that pirates are not shy about using their machetes on a ship where discharging a firearm when you’re standing on 300 million gallons of oil is a bad idea…well, it’s bad. And complicated: many (not all) pirates are destitute and desperate enough to rob the giant cash cows they see floating past their villages. But the companies that own the ships don’t want to lose money, so their ships don’t carry cash. It’s like a large version of robbing the pizza delivery guy and not stealing the pizza. Imo’s doesn’t get hurt; just the driver.

Like most book-length journalism I’ve read lately — with the stunning exception of God’s Middle Finger — it’s a bit choppy and repetitive. More information than adventure, which is weird considering the lives these guys lead.

SnagFilms

Posted in movies by mrkd on 13 August 2008

SnagFilms is free documentaries, but more legal-looking than say Surf The Channel, where you can watch free feature films (if you don’t mind Chinese subtitles).

It looks like they have everything Morgan Spurlock has done, that new Confessions of a Superhero thing I keep seeing on the Netflix insta-play, and Lucha Mania 5to Aniversario! Wait, what?

(via The Morning News, which seems to be the only thing I read anymore.)

straight to hell, boy

Posted in movies, news by mrkd on 12 August 2008

Vladimir’s Putin’s name sounds a lot like the French word for whore.

That’s weird, though, because in the Criterion Collection edition of Le Mepris, Brigitte Bardot says ‘putain…putain’ (to spite her husband who’s criticized her foul mouth, and it is beautiful, just insanely beautiful to watch her sadly pronounce obscenities in the bathroom), and it’s subtitled as ‘cunt.’ So is Putin a whore or a cunt?

I guess ask the Georgians.

watch out for the militant black socialist revolution, which apparently is what Obama means by ‘change’

Posted in movies, news by mrkd on 11 August 2008

It seems to me that if Mr. Obama wins the presidential election, then Messrs. Farrakhan, Wright, Ayers and Pfleger will gain power for their need to demoralize this country and help create a socialist America.

Jon Voight, ladies and gentlemen, explaining his mental illness. You may remember him as IMF traitor Jim Phelps, or the guy who didn’t get raped in Deliverance. Also, inexplicably, he once portrayed the Pope.

HALT

Posted in Uncategorized by mrkd on 11 August 2008

we have no style

Posted in Uncategorized by mrkd on 11 August 2008

Genius photographer Hans Eijkelboom’s photoessay Paris-New York-Shanghai proves that big-box clothing and crappy corporate art is universal. I thought I was the only one who kept seeing these guys everywhere. (via The Morning News.)

boomerang throwable moustache!

Posted in Uncategorized by mrkd on 11 August 2008

Italian Spiderman. A friend forwarded the trailer a couple weeks ago; I had no idea there are ten episodes and an extensive (fictional) history surrounding the production company and the difficulty in filming the greatest Italian superhero epic of the 1960s.

note: boomerang moustache doesn’t make an appearance until episode ten.